Running, always running but from what? From who? From myself? From the eyes that follow me in the shadows or from those that try to protect me? He, she, they, who knows but I can’t ever stop. They all want me dead. I can’t see how to win this one, not with so much against me.
What can I do? Who am I? I’m just a girl really a woman, a woman who's been told the world is on her shoulders. Humanity rest in my hands, so I ran. I’ll admit it now, I couldn’t at first but I can now, I see it now, I see why I did it. I ran, I ran from the good, the good forces the ones that wanted me to save the world. I ran from the ones who want to stop me. I ran because it is scary. Can you imagine? I’m only 20 something and I’ve got to save the entire world and why you may ask, why does this nobody have to take on this responsibility, well it’s all to do with my lineage. Who my parents are, but they left me, they didn’t want me, so why should I want to take on this familial responsibility. If they didn’t want me in their lives why do I need them and their heritage. Why do I need this in my life?
I guess I ran to the wrong places and the wrong people, I ran to Rowan. He was always there in the shadows, in the darkness watching me. Rowan who loved me, who I loved in return, who I still love. Rowans people are the wrong things in this world. They are sadness, evil, pain and suffering. They fester in the shadows making the world dark and cold, taking the goodness and replacing it with spite and hate and loathing. He’s not like them, I hope. They want to use me for their own means but then there is Tristan who is the light, the guy on the right side, on the good side. He wants to save me or so he says, but he’s after me too. He needs me dead, that’s how they win by my death, by my lack of existence. That’s how the world get’s saved, by dying, not by some magical mysterious way of conquering evil and fighting for the good and being victorious. No! My blood needs to be shed, to soak into this planet we call Earth and become a lifeforce. I also need to be the doer of the deed I need to sacrifice myself. I have to go against everything that I was ever taught by the people that mean the most to me. My family, my adopted family, Adian and René not those parents that threw me to the wind to survive on my own, not these self proclaimed “Fairies” that have decided to claim me as theirs to be their saviour. None of this is real, is it? I just want to wake up. For this to have been a dream. I want to stop running. I just want, I just want to be real, to be normal. I don’t want this, I never asked for any of this! I don’t want to die, I don’t want to go. I guess that’s how I’m running from myself as well as from everyone else because if I’m honest with myself, if I just believe in myself I should be able to this, but I can’t or won’t so I run. I run with Rowan by my side, I run through the shadows, from him as much as with him. And boy can I run.
From here I need to have a plan, Tristan comes to me as I dream and Rowan tugs at my every waking moment to keep moving. I need to find a way around this. My parent were never meant to be you see, they are from opposing sides. One from the light and one from the dark. They never meant to have me, truth be told in the fae world a light and dark fairy shouldn't be able to conceive let alone carry a child through to full term. I hate them, for this, for what they have forsaken me to.
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